Sober Transitions

Taking a Me-Day

Taking time for yourself is crutial. With all the amount of time and energy that we put into work and do for others, we should remember to set time aside for our own self care. If we don't do it for ourselves, who will?

Below is an article I wanted to share because I believe in the importance of Me-time.

-Ally

The importance of self-care. Published on April 1, 2012 by Amy Przeworski, Ph.D. in Don't Worry, Mom

I was looking forward to a day of working at home until the thought occurred to me that it would be so nice to return to bed and read novels all day—to take a “me day” where I could do whatever I wanted to do with no worries about responsibilities, household chores, or work. I returned to bed, read a few pages of a novel and was then hit with guilty thoughts. “You should get up and do something useful.” “You have a lot of work to do today.” “The groceries aren’t going to buy themselves.” “This is NOT working from home. It’s a workday so go work.” My anxiety and guilt were overwhelming. So I threw aside the blankets and my novel and sat down in front of my computer to work. Although I love my job, I found that I faced it that day with a sense of obligation and stress rather than enjoying it like I usually do. I needed some time off to recharge my batteries, but instead I had guilted myself into working.

I wondered why I would feel so guilty about taking a day off to do what I want to do. I work hard and I know the importance of self-care. In fact, I recommend it to others. So why doesn’t it apply to me? Is it a Super Mom complex? Do others feel this way? I decided to conduct an informal survey of my friends to find out.

What I learned is that I’m not alone. Twenty-five of my friends completed my informal survey (17 parents and 8 non-parents). A whopping 70.6 percent of those who are parents said that they took a me-day once every few months or never; 23.5 percent of parents said that they took a me-day once a month; and 5.9 percent said that they take me-days twice a week. This is compared to my friends who aren’t parents, where 12.5 percent said once every few months or never, 12.5 percent said once a month, 50 percent said once a week and 25 percent said that twice a week. Parents are not taking a lot of me-days relative to non-parents, which isn’t surprising. 

Then I looked at guilt. 64.7 percent of parents in my informal survey said that they would experience guilt if they increased the frequency of me-days. Only 37.5 percent of non-parents said that they would experience guilt. So parents are spending less time doing what they want to do and would feel guilty if they increased the frequency of their-me-days.

So what leads us to feel that we can’t spend time on ourselves? And how do we break that cycle? Have we become so achievement-oriented and focused on others’ needs that we can’t take time to do what we want to do? And do we believe that self-sacrifice is a requirement of being a parent?

The benefits of self-care

 

We know that self-care is essential for people regardless of whether they are parents and that chronic stress can contribute to health problems, anxiety, depression, and substance use. I know that I feel much less stressed and happier when I take time out for myself. I am also much more productive and enjoy my work more when I am approaching work feeling refreshed rather than worn down. I sleep better and feel less anxious when I have engaged in self-care. I am also a better parent when I have taken a me-day recently: I laugh more, am more patient, and have the energy to set limits when necessary.   

Self-care is a basic need

For those of us who are parents, we did not entirely lose our identity as an independent adult when we became parents. Humans have a need for self-care. Somehow as parents, we expect ourselves to focus only on our children, jobs, and other responsibilities and put our own needs last. If we put our own needs last though, those needs will never be filled, contributing to us feeling stressed and to anxiety, depression, and other mental health problems.

Self-sacrifice and parenting

There is no question that parenting involves a certain level of self-sacrifice. A parent does have to put their child’s needs first many times and think of what is best for their child rather than what is best for oneself. But the two do not need to be mutually exclusive. If a parent sacrifices too much of him/herself, the parent can cease to be who they really are and end up quite unhappy. That does not benefit the child or the parent. Instead, remaining true to oneself can provide a wonderful role model for a child and a balanced view of a parent as not just a parent, but a human being. As with most things in life, self-sacrifice in parenting is about balance; tipping the balance too far in either direction can be problematic. So how do we break the cycle of guilt about self-care and ensure that we don’t lose ourselves in sacrifice?

Tips for breaking the cycle

Schedule me-days. Our schedules are packed with responsibilities and activities for others.  Without scheduling time for ourselves we will continuously wait for a time when things are less hectic or when we have achieved all of our goals. That time may never come. So plan a me-day ahead of time and put it in your schedule. Drop the kids off at a trusted family member’s home and take some time to do whatever you want to.

Give yourself permission. You can take a me-day but be so consumed by guilt during the day that you are unable to enjoy it. Instead, use what is known about self-care to fight the guilt that you feel about taking time for yourself. We are more productive, patient, and calm when we have allowed ourselves time to rest and unwind so taking a me-day benefits everyone.

Turn off your computer and only take phone calls that are emergencies. In this day where email is just a click away and you are accessible to everyone 24 hours a day, it is difficult to find a way to be entirely independent of others’ demands. A me-day should be demand-free so disconnect from these technologies.

Schedule a little me-time every day; whether it’s an hour or a half hour. This will keep you refreshed between your me-days. However, this should not be a substitute for a me-day.

Everyone needs to recharge their batteries and to reconnect with their own needs and desires. If we can find ways to do this in a guilt-free manner, we can really enjoy our time as parents and people. But self-care without guilt is something that takes practice and support from others. It is something that I continue to struggle with, but hopefully, we can all get better at this together. And with your support, maybe next time I’ll stay in bed guilt-free.

Hired Power and Betty Ford Women's Symposium 2012

Hired Power was a break sponsor at the Betty Ford Women's Symposium last Thursday at UCLA. It was definately a day of inspiration to see a conference full of women and men supporting women in recovery. I believe it is safe to say tha a great time was had by all! With women in recovery still a fresh theme check out this article:

Addiction and Gender: Recovery for Women

Women and addiction: Why Whitney wasn't alone Published on March 22, 2012 by Brenda Iliff in A Remarkable Recovery

Whitney Houston's public battle with addiction and untimely passing has shed light on the growing epidemic of addiction among women in the United States. On the surface, Whitney's story may not feel relatable; she was a high-profile celebrity, a gorgeous woman, with an incredible voice and a very public life.

But she was also a woman - a loving mother, an member of a strong family unit and a good friend - she worked hard and battled personal demons including addiction and her story isn't as uncommon as you may think.

Women are the fastest-growing segment for substance abuse in the United States. In fact, according to the Federal Center for Substance Abuse Prevention, about 2.7 million women in the United States abuse drugs or alcohol. Even more frightening is that the majority who need treatment do not receive it because:

• They are afraid of losing, or being separated from, their families
• They view their substance use as a social activity or habit, rather than an addiction that is disrupting their lives 
• They believe that their substance abuse is the outcome of anxiety or depression, treating the mental health issue while ignoring the addiction
• They are afraid or embarrassed to admit they are struggling with addiction, and hide their drug or alcohol use from family and friends

There are special issues that women face in addiction treatment and recovery. The traditional wisdom of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous says that women progress faster in addiction. Now the research is telling us the "why" and more importantly "what" can be done to assist women in recovery.

Like what you're reading? Continue here:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/remarkable-recovery/201203/addiction-and-gender-recovery-women

 

Strength, Courage and Confidence in Recovery

 

Quote of the day:

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, "I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along."...You must do the thing you think you cannot do. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

 

5 Reasons Addicts Leave Treatment Early – And How To Prevent It

By David Sack, M.D.

Getting an addict into drug rehab isn’t always an easy task. Getting them to stay there can be even harder. Here are five of the most common reasons people leave drug rehab against medical advice, along with suggestions to help the addict stay committed to their recovery.

1. “Detox is too painful.”

Research shows that the first week of drug rehab is the time when most addicts ask themselves, “What the heck am I doing here?” Withdrawal symptoms, drug cravings and an unfamiliar environment can fill the addict with anxiety at the same time they are deprived of their primary coping mechanism: drugs. Some addicts rationalize that they felt better when using drugs and give up on rehab before treatment really begins.

Prevention Tip: Detox can be made more comfortable with medication and alternative therapies such as neurofeedback, acupuncture and massage. Even if the addict isn’t feeling great, they should try to get involved in as many treatment activities as possible.

Rather than isolating, their peers will help them realize they are not alone and see the hope that treatment brings. The earlier the addict develops trust and rapport with a therapist, the more likely they will listen to the therapist’s recommendations and push through the uncertainty.

2. “I’m not like these people.”

This is a common assertion made after the addict attends their first 12-Step meeting or group therapy session. It is the nature of the disease for addicts to think they are different, smarter or stronger than other addicts. This belief allows them to put up emotional walls between themselves and others and to avoid doing the soul-searching work of recovery.

Prevention Tip: If an individual would fare best in the company of like-minded peers, try to find an appropriate drug rehab program for their needs. Once in treatment, cognitive-behavioral therapy can help the addict turn their focus on differences into recognition of similarities. Education about denial can teach the addict that their disease is driving them to rationalize leaving rehab.

3. “I don’t like it here.”

If an addict wants to go back to using drugs, they must find a justification to do so, both for their own peace of mind and to appease their loved ones who desperately want them to get well. Rather than accepting responsibility for their own recovery, they may place the blame elsewhere – often on the food, accommodations, rules, treatment schedule, staff or other patients.

Prevention Tip: In some cases, the addict’s concerns may be legitimate. Perhaps something can be done to make them more comfortable, such as changing roommates or switching therapists. Or perhaps another treatment center would be a better match, particularly if the individual struggles with co-occurring mental health disorders that aren’t being addressed.

It is always wise to stay involved with treatment and listen to a client’s concerns to determine whether they can be addressed or the individual is merely looking for an excuse to leave. In the latter case, it is essential for family members and other treatment professionals to present a united front, offering loving reminders about why the addict needs to complete treatment. Family involvement and family therapy aid in the process, but “rescuing” an addict from drug rehab merely enables the addiction to continue.

4. “I already know this stuff.”

In addiction recovery, there are certain themes that get repeated throughout treatment. This is because repetition is how we learn. Sometimes it isn’t until the second or third go-around that the addict truly embraces a particular recovery principle or gains new insight. In some cases, the addict may use this excuse to avoid dealing with the painful memories and feelings being explored in therapy.

Prevention Tip: There are many ways to show addicts that no matter how much they think they know, they can always learn more. These include having outside speakers share their stories of recovery, offering alternative therapeutic modalities that the addict hasn’t yet explored, maintaining a full schedule of recovery-related activities, and discussing the likely outcome if the addict follows through on their plan to leave.

5. “I can do this on my own.”

At some point during treatment, most addicts develop a type of confidence that is both healing and potentially damaging. After maintaining their sobriety for a while, they feel healthier than ever and are assured of their ability to stay clean. It is at this point that some believe they are “cured” of addiction and anxiously wish to return to their families and careers.

Prevention Tip: Research shows that the longer an addict stays in treatment the better their chances of avoiding relapse. Believing they “know it all” may be a sign of progress but is also a red flag that more education and treatment are necessary. Step-down levels of care (e.g., moving from inpatient to outpatient or a transitional living environment) allow addicts to test their new recovery skills with ongoing professional support.

In many ways, drug rehab is an exercise in faith. We ask addicts to draw on coping, interpersonal and distress tolerance skills they haven’t yet developed, based on the assurance of others that recovery is possible. Change is hard for an addict, but stillness can be even harder. With the support of family and a team of professionals, addicts can stay still long enough to experience the many rewards of recovery.

David Sack, M.D., is board certified in psychiatry, addiction psychiatry, and addiction medicine. He is CEO of Elements Behavioral Health, a network of treatment centers that focus on addiction treatment, eating disorders, and dual diagnosis.

http://blogs.psychcentral.com/addiction-recovery/2012/01/why-addicts-leave-treatment-early/

 

RECOVERY

Every day the team at Hired Power assists and supports early recovery. Recently, I have been reflecting about how important recovery is for those of us who struggle with addiction since I lost a cousin to an overdose. I found the article below defining recovery in detail and thought I should share. Recovery really does bring out the beauty in life.

SAMHSA Announces A Working Definition Of "Recovery" From Mental Disorders And Substance Use Disorders
Main Category: Alcohol / Addiction / Illegal Drugs
Also Included In: Mental Health
Article Date: 27 Dec 2011 - 0:00 PST

A new working definition of recovery from mental disorders and substance use disorders is being announced by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). The definition is the product of a year-long effort by SAMHSA and a wide range of partners in the behavioral health care community and other fields to develop a working definition of recovery that captures the essential, common experiences of those recovering from mental disorders and substance use disorders, along with major guiding principles that support the recovery definition. SAMHSA led this effort as part of its Recovery Support Strategic Initiative.

The new working definition of Recovery from Mental Disorders and Substance Use Disorders is as follows:

A process of change through which individuals improve their health and wellness, live a self-directed life, and strive to reach their full potential.

"Over the years it has become increasingly apparent that a practical, comprehensive working definition of recovery would enable policy makers, providers, and others to better design, deliver, and measure integrated and holistic services to those in need," said SAMHSA Administrator, Pamela S. Hyde. "By working with all elements of the behavioral health community and others to develop this definition, I believe SAMHSA has achieved a significant milestone in promoting greater public awareness and appreciation for the importance of recovery, and widespread support for the services that can make it a reality for millions of Americans."

A major step in addressing this need occurred in August 2010 when SAMHSA convened a meeting of behavioral health leaders, consisting of mental health consumers and individuals in addiction recovery. Together these members of the behavioral health care community developed a draft definition and principles of recovery to reflect common elements of the recovery experience for those with mental disorders and/or substance use disorders.

In the months that have followed, SAMHSA worked with the behavioral health care community and other interested parties in reviewing drafts of the working recovery definition and principles with stakeholders at meetings, conferences, and other venues. In August 2011, SAMHSA posted the working definition and principles that resulted from this process on the SAMHSA blog and invited comments from the public via SAMHSA Feedback Forums. The blog post received 259 comments, and the forums had over 1000 participants, nearly 500 ideas, and over 1,200 comments on the ideas. Many of the comments received have been incorporated into the current working definition and principles.

Through the Recovery Support Strategic Initiative, SAMHSA has also delineated four major dimensions that support a life in recovery:

-- Health: overcoming or managing one's disease(s) as well as living in a physically and emotionally healthy way;

-- Home: a stable and safe place to live;

-- Purpose: meaningful daily activities, such as a job, school, volunteerism, family caretaking, or creative endeavors, and the independence, income and resources to participate in society; and

-- Community: relationships and social networks that provide support, friendship, love, and hope.

Guiding Principles of Recovery

Recovery emerges from hope: The belief that recovery is real provides the essential and motivating message of a better future that people can and do overcome the internal and external challenges, barriers, and obstacles that confront them.

Recovery is person-driven: Self-determination and self-direction are the foundations for recovery as individuals define their own life goals and design their unique path(s).

Recovery occurs via many pathways: Individuals are unique with distinct needs, strengths, preferences, goals, culture, and backgrounds, including trauma experiences that affect and determine their pathway(s) to recovery. Abstinence is the safest approach for those with substance use disorders.

Recovery is holistic: Recovery encompasses an individual's whole life, including mind, body, spirit, and community. The array of services and supports available should be integrated and coordinated.

Recovery is supported by peers and allies: Mutual support and mutual aid groups, including the sharing of experiential knowledge and skills, as well as social learning, play an invaluable role in recovery.

Recovery is supported through relationship and social networks: An important factor in the recovery process is the presence and involvement of people who believe in the person's ability to recover; who offer hope, support, and encouragement; and who also suggest strategies and resources for change.

Recovery is culturally-based and influenced: Culture and cultural background in all of its diverse representations, including values, traditions, and beliefs, are keys in determining a person's journey and unique pathway to recovery.

Recovery is supported by addressing trauma: Services and supports should be trauma-informed to foster safety (physical and emotional) and trust, as well as promote choice, empowerment, and collaboration.

Recovery involves individual, family, and community strengths and responsibility: Individuals, families, and communities have strengths and resources that serve as a foundation for recovery.

Recovery is based on respect: Community, systems, and societal acceptance and appreciation for people affected by mental health and substance use problems including protecting their rights and eliminating discrimination are crucial in achieving recovery.

To read more on this article click here:

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/239713.php

The New Quitter

Falling off the wagon—whether by bakery binge or drug bender—doesn't mean total defeat. In fact, relapse is the best teacher on the road to recovery.

By Kathleen McGowan, published on July 01, 2010 - last reviewed on January 28, 2011

Diane Potvin has been sober for 23 years, but is still acutely aware that she could fall off the wagon.

Mike Di Ioia lost more than 100 pounds by sticking to a rigid diet, but is haunted by memories of being sick, overweight, and afraid of dying. Diane Webber-Thrush tries to stop a modest wine-drinking habit, but a rough day at the office sends her back to the liquor store.

The dirty little secret about addictions is that relapsing is the rule, not the exception. Up to 80 percent of alcoholics treated for a drinking problem will hit the bottle again at least once. Between 60 and 90 percent of smokers light up within a year of stopping, and more than 90 percent of the gamblers who quit on their own will eventually place another bet. Even minor bad habits are hard to break: People make the same New Year's resolution for an average of five years running before they maintain the change for even six months.

When it comes to major behavioral changes—anything from losing weight to quitting hard drugs—few people do it perfectly the first time. For most, it's a long and winding road.

Yet many people do eventually overcome their bad habits. There are more ex-smokers (48 million) than current smokers (46 million) in the United States. In the biggest American survey of alcohol use, only one-quarter of the people dependent on alcohol were still drinking heavily the following year. Another long-term study revealed that for cocaine addicts who had gone through treatment, more than half were clean five years later.

Such statistics have inspired a new psychology of addiction that puts the problem of relapse front and center. It recognizes that relapse is distressingly common—but also that it can be just a stumble on the road to recovery. In fact, if handled the right way, a relapse can actually open the door to lasting success.

The abstinence-only doctrines that once dominated the thinking about addiction have given way to a more flexible—and more forgiving—approach. Overcoming a habit is understood to be a slow and halting process that is often plagued with slipups and setbacks. This understanding is motivated in part by evidence from neuroscience that addictions change the brain in ways that can take a long time to undo. "The last 10 years have given us a picture from a lot of different areas of science that once addiction sets in, it takes on the character of a chronic illness," says Jon Morgenstern, director of substance abuse services at Columbia University Medical Center in New York City. "It's very difficult for people to maintain behavioral change. Relapse is considered a part of the condition."

By the same token, relapse is no longer seen as a catastrophe. A fall off the wagon may feel like a failure that cancels out all the hard work of quitting, but that all-or-nothing perspective doesn't square with the facts, says G. Alan Marlatt, a professor of psychology and director of the Addictive Behaviors Research Center at the University of Washington. "It's like learning to ride a bicycle. Almost everybody falls at least once." A relapse can provide useful information. The trick is to view an episode of backsliding as a chance to learn, an opportunity to develop better techniques for anticipating and avoiding or overcoming urges. This insight applies to a range of problems, from life-threatening drug addictions to compulsions like overeating.

Continue reading here:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201007/the-new-quitter

TN nurses with drug addictions can get help, keep job

Monitoring is a great way to hold accountability lines with our families, employees and friends.It is great to know that companies are holding people accountable. Below is an article about helping nurses through monitoring services.

Fear of firing can threaten patient safety, study says

1:26 AM, Feb. 21, 2011     Written by    Tom Wilemon

A nurse high on pot sleeps in a bathroom, neglecting her duty to care for patients in an adult psychiatric unit.

Another walks around in a surgery center with glazed eyes and blood visible on her arm from a self-administered Demerol injection.

A third nurse suspected of pilfering Percocet breaks her boss's nose upon being fired.

These incidents occurred in the Nashville area within the past year and could have been prevented if the nurses had asked for help.

Zero-tolerance policies that mandate the firing of nurses with addictions keep the problem a hushed topic and wind up endangering patients, according to a study by Todd Monroe, a post-doctoral fellow at Vanderbilt University.

"If a nurse is afraid to come forward or a student nurse is afraid to come forward, they are at risk of potentially hurting someone and themselves," Monroe said. "A non-punitive policy has been shown to increase patient safety. There is an avenue for them to get off the floor."

The public gets more protection when health-care institutions offer an alternative-to-dismissal policy, he said. Such a policy can get an impaired nurse off the job and into treatment within days to a few weeks, while documenting the proof to terminate employment can take years, according to an article Monroe recently had published in the Journal of Clinical Nursing.

Monroe looked at policies for handling nurses with addictions both nationally and internationally. Forty-five state nursing boards, including Tennessee's, have established an alternative-to-dismissal program.

Some seek treatment on their own

More than 220 nurses appeared before the Tennessee Board of Nursing in the past year because of substance abuse records, according to a review of disciplinary actions by The Tennessean. Of those, the licenses of 89 were revoked, 74 were suspended and 66 were put on probation. In almost all cases of suspension or probation, the nurses are referred to the Tennessee Professional Assistance Program.

A nurse high on pot sleeps in a bathroom, neglecting her duty to care for patients in an adult psychiatric unit.

Another walks around in a surgery center with glazed eyes and blood visible on her arm from a self-administered Demerol injection.

A third nurse suspected of pilfering Percocet breaks her boss's nose upon being fired.

These incidents occurred in the Nashville area within the past year and could have been prevented if the nurses had asked for help.

Zero-tolerance policies that mandate the firing of nurses with addictions keep the problem a hushed topic and wind up endangering patients, according to a study by Todd Monroe, a post-doctoral fellow at Vanderbilt University.

"If a nurse is afraid to come forward or a student nurse is afraid to come forward, they are at risk of potentially hurting someone and themselves," Monroe said. "A non-punitive policy has been shown to increase patient safety. There is an avenue for them to get off the floor."

The public gets more protection when health-care institutions offer an alternative-to-dismissal policy, he said. Such a policy can get an impaired nurse off the job and into treatment within days to a few weeks, while documenting the proof to terminate employment can take years, according to an article Monroe recently had published in the Journal of Clinical Nursing.

Monroe looked at policies for handling nurses with addictions both nationally and internationally. Forty-five state nursing boards, including Tennessee's, have established an alternative-to-dismissal program.

Some seek treatment on their own

More than 220 nurses appeared before the Tennessee Board of Nursing in the past year because of substance abuse records, according to a review of disciplinary actions by The Tennessean. Of those, the licenses of 89 were revoked, 74 were suspended and 66 were put on probation. In almost all cases of suspension or probation, the nurses are referred to the Tennessee Professional Assistance Program.

Read more here:

http://www.tennessean.com/article/20110221/NEWS07/102210323/-1/GREENGREENGREENGREENINDEX.HTM/TN-nurses-drug-addictions-can-get-help-keep-job

Pill-free pain relief treatments gain ground among recovering addicts

By Kristi L. Nelson

Knoxville News Sentinel

Posted February 20, 2011 at 11:31 p.m.

When Eric Amburgey started experiencing daily back pain last year, he could have gone to a pain clinic and gotten a narcotics prescription.

But as a recovering addict with years of hard-won sobriety under his belt, Amburgey knew all too well that could lead him down a slippery slope.

Still, he waited until his back locked up and he was begging for relief before trying 'something I really didn't believe in' — acupuncture.

After 12 treatments over six months, Amburgey is pain-free — and has been for nine months.

'I don't understand how you can stick needles here and there … and get rid of the pain,' Amburgey said, laughing. 'I just know that it works.'

As marketing director of Blount County's Cornerstone of Recovery, an addiction recovery center, Amburgey went to Cornerstone's 'sister company,' Cornerstone Integrative Health Associates, for treatment.

The Alcoa practice offers different types of acupuncture, therapeutic massage and stress reduction techniques to help people manage chronic pain, including reflexology, which uses points on the feet, and Rubenfeld Synergy, a process that combines dialogue with light touch to help release emotions. It came about as a companion for Cornerstone, whose clients — recovering addicts — needed to avoid narcotics even when faced with painful situations like surgery or injuries.

Continue reading here:

http://www.knoxnews.com/news/2011/feb/20/pill-free-treatments-addicts-acupuncture/

Self-Awareness vs "Self-Fixingness"

A self-help book editor uses what she learns at work and in life to help herself.

by Melissa Kirk

Self-Awareness vs "Self-Fixingness"

The best self-help tool is compassionate self-awareness

Published on February 10, 2011

After years of therapy, hundreds of self-help books, and countless inspirational YouTube videos, I've come to one conclusion: the most powerful self-help tool that we can cultivate is compassionate self-awareness. Any kind of therapy and every self-help book worth the paper its printed on seeks to help us understand ourselves and our emotions and behaviors better. But the problem with most therapy and self-help is that this self-awareness is focused on "getting better" rather than in simply being aware of who we are. In this, positive psychology has some of the right ideas, by having us focus on our strengths. But even that's too limited. We are so much more than our traits, whether negative or positive.

The first step to helping ourselves become the people we already are underneath our neuroses (loving, kind, balanced, open, and compassionate) is to foster the kind of deep self-awareness that flows beneath our judgments of who we are or what we do. Not only awareness of our emotions, behaviors and triggers, but an awareness of how we operate in the first place. How our mind connects things, how our thoughts and emotions move and flow, how we think, what words we use to describe the world, how we talk to ourselves and about others, and what we see when we look out at the world.

Continue reading here:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/test-case/201102/self-awareness-vs-self-fixingness

What The Wild Things Are

Understandings of Self, Awareness, and Mental Health in an Ever-Changing World

by Samantha Smithstein, Psy.D.

 

Lindsay Lohan, fresh out of three months of rehabilitation for her drug and alcohol addiction, is now potentially facing charges of Felony Grand Theft for stealing an expensive necklace from a Los Angeles jewelry store. 

In California, the difference between felony and misdemeanor theft is the monetary value of the item(s) stolen.  If it is over $950, it is a felony, and Lohan allegedly stole a very expensive necklace.

Lohan doesn't need to steal.  She could have afforded the necklace but even if she couldn't have, she certainly didn't need the necklace to survive.  So why did she steal it?

There are a multitude of answers as to why she, or anyone else, might steal.  Sometimes people steal because they have little regard for other people or for the law.  But many people who steal are otherwise law-abiding citizens and they themselves don't really have the answer as to why they steal.  This is because they are afflicted with a disorder - compulsive stealing or kleptomania - and have a great deal of difficulty gaining control over their stealing behavior, much in the way an alcoholic, compulsive gambler, overeater, or drug addict has difficulty controlling theirs.

Of course, most of us can only guess as to what is going on with Lindsay Lohan since we don't know her personally.  It could be that taking the necklace (if she did take it) was the only time that she has ever stolen anything.  It could be that she, like other addicts, stole because she is out of control and acting in her addiction even if she isn't still using drugs. But those of us working in the field of addictive and compulsive behaviors are finding more and more frequently that often people tend to suffer from a "cluster" of addictions rather than a single one.  In other words, someone may seek treatment for an eating disorder and uncover a compulsive stealing disorder.  Or an individual might seek treatment for sexual compulsivity and eventually reveal that they are also abusing drugs and alcohol.  Sometimes they may seek treatment for one and the other may not ever be revealed to the therapist, because of deep shame or fear.  This is especially true of compulsive stealing; people can go for years without a therapist or anyone in their life knowing they can't stop themselves from stealing.

 

Keep reading here:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/what-the-wild-things-are/201102/lindsay-lohan-stealing-and-addiction-clusters